Five Crazy Ideas to Fix the Oscars

So crazy, they just might work

It’s time for the Academy Awards! Who’s going to win? What’s that, you don’t care?

I’m going to fix that! Well, no, I’m not, because nobody listens to me (besides you, dear reader). But as the Oscars continue their downward spiral into irrelevancy, at least you’ll know why.

Idea #1: Two Best Pictures

As I outline in this (new, revised edition) video essay, the very first Academy Awards gave away two “best” picture awards—Outstanding Picture and Unique and Artistic Picture.

The idea was basically to praise films of a grand scope and scale worthy of the big screen, while also giving accolades to smaller, innovative films. Despite the Academy retroactively claiming “Outstanding Picture” is the equivalent to the modern “Best Picture,” the awards were intended to be co-equal.

This would resolve the unfortunate dichotomy between big, studio pictures and small, indie productions. It would also have the added benefit of featuring films the general public has actually seen.

But if we have two best pictures, we’ll also have to reduce the number of nominees…

Idea #2: Five Nominees Per Award

The Academy expanded the number of Best Picture nominees from five to (up to) ten in 2009, in an effort to get more large films in the race. This worked to an extent; there’s usually at least one blockbuster in the mix every year.

But it also backfired. The widened field mostly led to an influx of tiny movies no one’s ever heard of, much less seen. As

Sasha Stone

put it in a recent article:

They’re not all bad movies. Some of them are good. A few may be great. But it’s like Fashion Week in Milan. A lot of money and time is spent on something that only serves an insulated microculture of sophisticates who all share the same values and dine out in the same five restaurants. The resulting ratings are expected to be so bad that, for the first time, the Oscars will be simulcast on Hulu.

And while we’re on the topic of niche movies…

Idea #3: Only Real Movies

Back in 1975, Jaws broke records with its nationwide rollout—500 screens.

So that’s why there were lines around the block.

Today, blockbuster movies are routinely released on 3,000 to 4,000 screens. Even mid-budget films regularly break 2,000 screens. Guess what the minimum is in order to qualify for the Academy Awards?

Ten. Ten screens, two weeks.¹

That’s ridiculous. That’s not a movie. The Best Picture of the Year should be released nationwide. 500 screens is now considered a limited release, but at least it covers the majority of the audience.

A movie that manages to stay in theaters for only a single week would be considered an abject failure in any other circumstance besides an “Oscar qualifying run.” You shouldn’t be able to push a movie onto less than a dozen theaters for fourteen days, and then dump it on your streaming service, and still claim it’s the Best Picture. Yet, that was Netflix’s strategy with Emilia Pérez, until that movie blew up in their face for unrelated reasons.

I should note I’m only talking about the big award(s). Of course there are different rules for the other feature-length categories—documentary, animation, foreign. That only makes sense, but given the different rules…

Idea #4: Pick a Category

The reason docs and cartoons have their own “best” feature-length categories is that their production process is radically different from live-action, narrative filmmaking. It’s just really difficult to compare those apples and oranges.

Foreign-language films are a different story. They got their own category because it was assumed they simply couldn’t compete on the level of Hollywood movies. But does that really hold true anymore? Since 2018, there’s been a foreign-language film in the Best Picture race every year, including three films last year and another two this year. At the 92nd Oscars, Parasite did the impossible and took home both awards.

Don’t forget, the original purpose of the Academy Awards was to promote the American film industry, specifically Hollywood. After COVID, two strikes, and the worst wildfires in the history of Los Angeles, Hollywood is hurting.

The Palisades Fire viewed from the shoreline.

You know those tiny print names at the bottom of a movie poster? Or the hundreds of names scrolling by at the end of a movie? Each one of those is a real person who needs a real job to put a roof over their heads after the last one burned down. Why are we promoting competing industries?

If a foreign filmmaker really believes their movie is the best, let them compete with the best. The Foreign Language category shouldn’t be a consolation prize. Don’t allow them to hedge their bets with an entry in both categories.

And speaking of competition…

Idea #5: Modify the Acting Categories

There are four acting categories: Best Lead Actor, Best Lead Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress. It’s all acting, but one can argue that there are different demands on a star than on a supporting player.

The case for gendered awards is similar to the Foreign Language category—there aren’t as many well-written parts for women, and without a separate category, men would dominate. Women get pigeonholed in a way that men don’t. Have you ever noticed how many actresses get their Oscar for playing either a nun or a prostitute?²

Possibly both this year.

The obvious reality is, though, the Academy just wants as many celebrities as possible to show up at the ceremony. I would suggest eliminating either the gender distinction or the lead/supporting categories. This would open up the ceremony to two additional, and unique, awards.

Best Stunts

This is already a prize awarded by SAG, calling it “Best Stunts Ensemble.”

How surreal would it be to play a body double to someone playing a body double?

This award would recognize men and women who literally risk their lives for our entertainment. Plus, it’s a category that would likely include films the general audience is familiar with.

Best Animated Performance

Like the Best Production Design Oscar, this would be an award shared between at least two people—the voice actor and the character animator(s).

You’ll still get your celebrities,³ but you’ll also gain recognition for some of the most talented artists in the business who never get seen. It’s a collaborative performance that’s unique to cinema, and should be recognized by the Academy of, you know, Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

What Do You Think?

As I said in a recent post, I care about the Oscars because they’re awarded by people who make movies, and thus presumably know something about not only what’s good, but why. I want the Academy Awards to reach the widest audience, because it’s an opportunity to show the world what we can do.

So, those are my five ideas. Do you like them? Hate them? What changes would you like to see at the Oscars? Leave a comment, and if you’d like this article, please like & share, to help with the Substack algorithm.

1. Per the official Academy Complete Rules:

• Rule 19.2 —Upon completion of an initial qualifying run, currently defined as a one-week theatrical release in one of the six U.S. qualifying cities, a film must meet the following additional theatrical standards for Best Picture eligibility:

  • a) Expanded theatrical run of seven days, consecutive or non-consecutive, in 10 of the top 50 U.S. markets, no later than 45 days after the initial release in 2024.

2. Yes, I know Mikey Madison plays an exotic dancer, not a prostitute, but broadly construed, Anora is a sex worker.

3. Thanks, Robin Williams.